Dave

Dave was born on August 10, 1975, in Drexel Hill, Pennsylvania. Much happened in the years following his birth, but not a single milestone was achieved until the summer of 2001, when David received his M.F.A. (More Failures Ahead) in Creative Writing from Bowling Green State University.

For the record, David is neither gay nor Jewish—though his two favorite pastimes are dancing and complaining. Other favorites include Raisin Bran, Killer Whales, and the Old Testament book of Joel.

Though he has never sought treatment for them, David suffers from a series of mild phobias. He is afraid of the dark, afraid of commitment, and perhaps most intensely he is afraid of people not liking him. Upon meeting David for the first time, do not be alarmed by his talkativeness. He does not have autism, nor is he a victim of Asperger’s Syndrome. He is merely insecure, and as a result his mouth runs marathons.