Gil

Gil was born on June 21st, 1973. Gil's father passed onto him DNA so rich in testosterone that Gil found himself reaching puberty two to three times faster than his more normal peers. Because of his size and temperament, he could at times be found bullying children in the schoolyards of Aronimink Elementary. Gil was a very sensitive child and would frequently cry for his victims, suffering from feelings of guilt, remorse, and regret for having beaten them.

It was these two childhood traits that led Gil’s father to nickname him Fatners Baby Cry. When Gil got to Middle School, the name was amended to Fatners Poppin’ Pimps Baby Cry.

Like it does for many, the experience of Middle School sucked for Gil. In a vain attempt to be accepted, Gil learned to mimic the voice and gestures of popular SNL character Ed Grimley. This act merely led to routine beatings. Afterward, Gil attempted to be himself, and this plan failed just as miserably at gaining popularity – but the beatings did subside.

Gil made it through High School and College without the popularity he sought when he was younger, but managed to maintain some dear and long-standing friendships. Gil joined three of these friends (and with the help of countless others) to form The Minor Prophets, and now aspires to become a member of a funny comedy troupe.